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Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Big Fat Miracle

the Lord is my Shepherd, by Stu Mendelson
It's 3:00 a.m.  My sleep has been peaceful tonight until now,  but suddenly I am wide awake and gripped by the hopelessness of my situation.  I am hemmed in by circumstances beyond my control.  Stu is inexplicably losing ground-----no one seems to know exactly what's wrong with him.  He's excruciatingly uncomfortable in his wheelchair lately, driven to distraction by a pain in his tailbone.  But if he doesn't spend time up in his wheelchair, he will lose strength and be at risk for pneumonia.  The regimentation of nursing home life is wearing away at his spirit, but I have no control over the progress of our remodel.  Until the remodel gets done, we cannot bring him home.  My gut feeling is that home is where he will finally be able to relax enough to heal.  No amount of human reasoning, encouragement, challenge, or any other of the usual goads that we use to prod a person to action is effective.  The situation is thickly planted with catch 22's.  There is no human reason to feel any hope at all. 

 So why, in the dead of night, do I have hope?

I see Jesus.

He is here, bright as day.  He knows the outcome of all this, even if He's not telling me what it is right now.  

He knows Stu, knows what he needs, knows when he needs it.  He reminds me that there are times beyond counting when He has showed up when there seemed to be no hope at all and deftly turned the situation on its head, showing everyone with eyes Who's in charge.

I see Jesus.  He is real.  He has power I can't understand.  And I am walking right up to him, confident of his love for me and confessing: Lord, I need a big, fat miracle.  Will you redeem this situation? 

I can hear him saying, a smile in his voice "I thought you'd never ask"


1 comment:

  1. This is a comment worthy post. Sorry I haven't been keeping up with your blog (my head tends to get stuck in the flurry of family, ministry, and business/job search stuff). I think you're hitting a chord about our fallen nature here Mom. A lot of times we're quick to comfort ourselves with God's "incommunicable attributes" (omniscience, omnipresence, and omnipotence) think that notions of sovereignty are going to cheer us up. I may lose my future in the Presbyterian church for saying this...but I don't think they will. We can't understand them, or "experience" them in a recognizable way. Was God all of these things during my accident, and Stu's stroke? Yeah. Do I know how....not the foggiest idea. Trying to fit all that in my intellect is like cramming Jupiter into an walnut shell.
    I think God's goodness is what we ought to dwell on in trouble, and what great resources we have for that in the Bible! Check out Ex. 34:6-9