Needy

Recently, I have been deeply affected by a book on prayer written by Paul Miller called  "A Praying Life" with the subtitle "connecting to God in a distracting world."

I think what really grabs me is the way he points out God's attitide about our helplessness. 

If  I'm really honest, my own least favorite thing to see in myself is need or helplessness.  I love being self-sufficient.  It's the American Way!   I dislike asking for help, I dislike even admitting that I might need it.

But over the past two years of this "Stroke of Genius" path I've been walking,  Stu is not the only one who has had to face his radical need for help.  I have had to ask for help from my church and my friends and family just to make ends meet.  And that has taken me through levels of buried shame and guilt that I hardly knew were there.

As I worked through each newly revealed layer, I've had to call out to my Father in ways that seemed very foreign and painful to me.  Strangely, though, the response I seemed to get from Him was a big smile-----He had been waiting a long time to have conversations like this with me!  Far from having disdain for my need, He seemed to welcome it.  There was also comfort, simple but surprising answers to my problems, patience, forbearance,  delight.  I have to admit, His personality is much different than the perceptions that so often grip our minds.  He really gets some bad press, don't you think?    And we are naturally inclined to believe the lies about Him, it seems to me.  Which makes it all the more delightful, humbling, and penetrating when He reveals His real self to the likes of someone like me.  Wow.

Anyway, that's why Miller's book hit such a nerve.  He's put into words what I've been experiencing!

So here's the kicker:  I'm writing this with a temporary cast on my right wrist.  Not sure how the timing of this could be much worse-----we are one week away from the opening day of Grower's Market!   On Friday night I had a bad fall and landed hard on my right hand, breaking two bones in my wrist.  Aaaargh!   Any fantasies of self-sufficiency are now defunct.  After talking over the circumstances with Jerome, we have agreed that he will pick up the slack, and we will simply move forward with our plans to work together in the bakery.   We will call in help as needed, make what we can,  and laugh about life, and our neediness, and God's sufficiency.  And His great Good Will for us.  I can say that with sincerity, even with a broken wrist!  Now that right there is a miracle!  So if the bagels look a little different this week, you'll know why!  Bear with us, friends, and stay tuned-------the saga continues!!