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Saturday, December 24, 2011

Reflections on a Haiku

 This is for all of you facing a not-picture-perfect Christmas (I know you're out there!!  It's not just me!)

A few years ago,  a little haiku came to me as I was contemplating contentment

                            Contentment is my surfboard,
                                     Skimming turbulence;

Contentment, I think, usually conjures up images of a cow in a field, chewing its cud.  No worries.
But I find that it has a much more dynamic character, actually-----the character of Christ!

So this morning, when I awoke to a Christmas Eve with the same turbulence I've been facing since the end of March, I had to add a line to my haiku-----if contentment is my surfboard, discontent is my riptide:-(

Here's what I wrote in my journal:

12.24.11   Ugh.  I can hardly muster a "Good Morning".
                 But knowing that it's You I'm greeting , I feel some measure of relief.  I know You understand my heartbreak----better than I do!   I am sore at all the stress----mostly emotional----that seems to go with this season.   "Contentment is my surboard"  indeed.   As I reflect on it, it seems that I need to know well the character of contentment, and also how discontent enters.  I need to recognize and rebuke the discontent.  A powerful tool lately has been to rehearse the fruit of the Spirit:  Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness, faithfulness, and self-control.   They are my Christmas ornaments this year!   And to realize that "Think on  these things" is not just an option, it's a necessity.
          I think of Stu, and I see that in him I face a confusing outer layer of discontent.  That's what he keeps showing me, and trying to get me to wrestle on that level.  I think he must know peace on some level, though.  His eyes reflect it, and sometimes he shares thoughts and prayers that show it. 
          As I pray for him once again this morning, I ask for connection with You, Lord, recognition and the relief that it brings.  I pray for a deep humility to engulf him and win the war for his soul.  I pray for the wisdom and courage to let go of him as I love him-----not really humanly possible, but You are the one who invented miracles:-)  In You, all things are possible!
          There, I feel better-----Once again, You have breathed life into me!     Amen

Merry Christmas, my friends!  There is reason to rejoice!  

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